I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
