im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
