You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
