you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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