I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
