I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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