Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
