I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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