just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
