i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
