gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
