fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
