ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
