STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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