I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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