i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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