let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas