Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles