Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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