none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
