yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
