Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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