just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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