And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
