If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
