giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
