We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
