Is it normal to miss your booty call?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
