I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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