i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and she was petting her beer can
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
