I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
