It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She bit a glass in half.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
