it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
