Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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