There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
