The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize