If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
well you can't waste a boner
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize