my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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