I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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