a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
