So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
