There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ketchup is God's man juice
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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