weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ok first of all what the fuck
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
