question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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