well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
