Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
