that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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