i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize