Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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