i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
