I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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