The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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