So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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