my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
