I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize