they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
