There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
