What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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