tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
